It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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