there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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