My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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