I just saw a hot homeless man
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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