I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
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If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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