at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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