Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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