My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
