Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
