Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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