I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
