His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
