i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
