Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
