I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
its liver damage thursday
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
