dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
