new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
