I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
