sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You were trust falling into bushes
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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