That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
