ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
