If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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