i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
