I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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