I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I forgot how hot balto sounded
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
