You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
