Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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