listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
