dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
