So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
