he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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