drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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