The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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