i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
