you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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