I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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