Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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