you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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