Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
