If that was your dad, he is hot
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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