Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
