This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize