if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize