I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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