Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
