her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
