Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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