Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We left the knife in your bed.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
