He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
