I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
