I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
