Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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