I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
