Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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