How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize