so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
