How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
