I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
why is half of my head shaved?
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