She's JV to your varsity
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize