So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
