im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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