My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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