It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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