we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
