Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
