i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
