I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
