last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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