I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
